I think best-friends-forever is a myth...

I have friends, and i have good friends. I'm a nice person and helpful and interesting. I am, in almost all aspects, normal. But i have never had that 'bestie' that books and movies andppltalk about. You know that one you can share your prettiest and ugliest moments and thoughts of your life. The one who just 'knows' you.

I think i don't trust anyone to know me all deep and that anyone will still stay. I don't do anything horrible, I'm not a murderer or a pedophile or anything. I'm just... Too damn boring, i guess. Nobody, no friend or family member knows me. Because I lie to them about certain things. It's never the same things, but nobody know gets the 100% truth about me. I feel somewhat safe doing so but at the same time very sad. I don'tthinki'llever be able to love somebody because i will never have that kind of connectionwothanyone. To be able to trust someone so explicitly that you will be able to allow physical vulnerability, be intimate. I'm turning thirty and it's making me think maybe if i'm sick, maybe i should be seeking medical help. What do you think? Am i the only one who is like this?