Maybe I'm a bad friend, I don't know.

From my friend's perspective, I probably am. From my perspective, I give my friend time when I have it and any time I have extra money, it will be spent on going to lunch/dinner or going on weekends away with her and our group of friends.

I don't have much money myself (student), plus I have a phyiscal illness (which is being treated, but it's a slow process) as well as mental health issues. I've tried to adjust my life to account for this. I do my best by my friend, but it's just never seems to be enough. My physical illness makes it hard for me to do things -- I don't always have the energy or the strength. This is inconvient for my friend, but she ought to try living with it.

I know myself that we don't have a lot in common, but I think those relationships can work if there is mutual respect and understanding, however I feel like I have to meet my friend all the way, while she will never meet me, or anyone else even half way.

I said No to her tonight after the usual bombardment of great ideas of ways I can spend money that I don't have, and extert energy that I don't have. Needless to say, I'm not her favourite person right now.

I'm starting to feel resentful though. I'm so anxious that I just don't do enough, but I'm starting to think I could bleed myself dry and it still would not be enough for her. I would regret being careless with my physical health, with my finances for someone who nothing I ever do will be enough.

And so, I reiterate again. From my perspective, I do what I can with what I have. From her perspective, I'm probably a bad friend who says No too often.