My friendships

Everything I talk about is what I've derrived from personal experience. Most friends are seasonal; once their purpose is served, they leave. When one person is too selfish to care about the other, the relationship ends. I don't believe in best friends because I think it is impossible to want to be friends with someone once their insensitive side is revealed. I've noticed that the closer I get to others and the more comfortable they feel, the more inconsiderate they become. This makes me regret ever opening up at all. Because I'm aware of the dangers of becoming too comfortable with someone, I try my best to maintain the same "personality," but this drains me; I can never truly be at peace with another person. And I don't think I'm cold-hearted, but it does take me a while to open up. When I do, though, I give my 110% to make the other person happy. I think that anyone who is willing to be my friend and share their feelings is someone who deserves at least 100% in return. But while I wish so desperately for a closer connection with someone, I've given up on that thought completely. I think the best way to live without hurting myself too much is to keep people close but not try to build/expect a closer relationship with anyone. I go into every friendship telling myself that the person will leave one day, but it hurts every time they do. Relationships are hard because humans are so complex; hoping I'll find a place I can truly be comfortable.