Need More Trust

@Evenstar8

Hi, sweetie. I thank you for sharing your story and asking for help to heal. One thing that I have noticed while reading this is that you have developed some strong trust issues throughout your life. Maybe it is because as you described, you are afraid that someone may take advantage of you, using it for his or her own personal gain, and take your kindness for weakness. From a different perspective, it sounds like that you may have been hurt before many times and you have closed those doors to shield yourself from all possibilites of getting hurt again.

And that is okay because it has happened to us all at some part of time of our lives whether it is with our parents, grandparents, boyfriends, girlfriends, co-workers, etc. It happens. The good thing that I am proud of you for is that you are allowing yourself to express your feelings in a healthy way and that you are allowing yourself to put a stop to allow yourself to heal. I am happy that you are taking that step!!

To answer your question, learning to trust someone with your mind and heart in spite of a mountain of trust issues is the accomplishment of a lifetime. And its an emotionally demanding process. Letting go, regardless, requires one thing above all: Taking the risk of being hurt. If you already have a trust partner, take what you learned from that relationship and use it to meet new people. This is the way to know how trust works, how it is earned and how to extend it.

Also, remember to set boundaries with new people. Do not open up fully just yet because you are opening the doors to be hurt and it will leave you in disappointment and you do not want that. When a person opens up to you about your personal life, experiences, and things that does not involve a casual converstion, you do not have to open up to them back. Do not feel like you are forced to open up because he or she did. If you do not want to open up, let them know that. Give yourself time to heal on your own without any force or demand whatsoever.

Trust starts from within. You have to trust yourself in order to trust others. You have to allow yourself to be open to new things, new adventures, new experiences, and new people to learn from what can be done the next time you across this fear. The key here is not to avoid emotional pain, but to learn to hurt well. Since no one is exempt from pain, you should aspire to endure it, to process it thoroughly and learn the right lessons, not those ‘lessons that come from fear and avoidance. This means feeling things fully. It means shedding tears of grief and loss. You can feel vulnerable and afraid and yet press on with faith that there are people in this world who are indeed worthy of your trust.

Remeber this: pride builds walls, humilty builds bridges. Do not let trust issues be the pride that you hold on to, let yourself be you and free to walk across any bridges to endure pain so you can become strong through it all.

I hope this advice helps!

Feel free to respond if something else bothers you!

@OriginalBeauty