Negative possitivity?
Am I wrong for wanting others to treat me poorly? I don't want toxic relationships in my life, but sometimes I have a hard time trusting positivity. I have plenty of insecurities, and I'm not always the easiest person to be around, so when I meet new people, and they avoid saying anything negative towards me, I tend to think they're just being polite. When others are able to break the ice with shitty jabs and general rudeness, a lot of that anxiety goes away. Maybe I don't want people to treat me poorly, but too much positivity makes new relationships very very uncomfortable, and generally ruins any chance I have of trusting the other person.
You feel more comfortable in pain? You know the saying "Misery Loves Company?" That is very unhealthy. I suggest you mend as much as you can as soon as you can. When someone is rude instead of feeling comfortable. Fight the feeling and stand up for yourself even though it might feel uncomfortable. It will heal you. Each step is uncomfortable but it gets easier and you will find joy in life without the worries of things like this <3
Maybe it feels right because it's all you've known; rudeness and put downs. I would encourage you to challenge that because you may or may not see it but it affects your self esteem, confidence, and feeling of worthiness. Every human deserves to be treated with respect and to have someone believe in them. You are human and you deserve it too. Sometimes people are sarcastic to one another and if that's your humor then go ahead but also accept the compliments and positivity. Take care
