Please help!! I need some advice!
Hi everyone!
I thought of visiting this site to try and get some advice.
I have a friend i really hang out with. She's considered my best friend. She's nice and all, but! She is really mentally draining me, draining all my will to live (i'm being completely honest here).
I've had other issues before, and 7cot communitiy helped me. And now... I mean she's a great friend, but she just has no boundaries, and because of my earlier issues i just can't help it but start getting meaner to her (even if i don't want to). She asks to much, wants to know everything, judges me and my decision always, tries to literally have me for herself. I don't know why she does all these stuff. She's being mean to me if i speak to other people. I confronted her once and we got in a fight....
I just hope that someone here can tell me how can i tell her all of this without hurting her feelings. She cares, i know, but it's honestly a problem now, for a lot of other reasons too. So anyone, please any advice is welcome!!
Hello there, @Black011
It sounds like you're having a tough time with dealing with your friend.. this sounds a bit like a emotionally abusive behavior coming from her and it's a good thing that you acknowledge it that this is not okay for you and should change. Of course it's hard to solve the problem without the other person wishing to do the same, but it's usually the case that she doesn't even realize what she's doing. You said "you confronted" her and I don't really know what that means but if you want to talk it through and make her understand how her behavior is hurting you perhaps the best approach would be an open and totally honest discussion, where you literally only try to let her know how you feel without any reproaches or deliberately trying to make her feel guilty as this might easily turn her into being defensive and attacking you in return.
If nothing works and she continues draining you like this it might be good for you to consider stepping back for a while and doing what's best for yourself after all..
Good luck with everything and take care! :)
@cloudTraveler
Thanks for reply!
I did talk to her before, tried to tell her everything but she just turned the whole conversation into how i don't trust her and how she feels attacked. I simply tried talking. So i'm not sure if she will listen to me again, but i will try it again though. If it still doesn't work, i'll try doing as you say, taking a step back.... Thank you for your advice :)