Should I tell BF about his friend's sexual harassment?
Hello,
So my boyfriend has this friend, we will call him JC, In the first week of school, JC sexually harassed me. I was not dating my boyfriend then. I reported JC to a school counselor and she told me that it was sexual harassment. It was really scary. JC and my boyfriend are really good friends, dare I say it, best friends. JC understandably makes me really uncomfortable to be around but he is a really good friend to my boyfriend (we have been dating for about 4 months). Should I tell my boyfriend about JC?
Also, another one of my boyfriend's friends (we will call him TJ) tried to ask me out in the beginning of the year and when I politely refused, he sexually harassed me and even sent me emails about his d*ck size on school email. I have not reported him yet, but lately he has been starting to do the same things again and I want to. TJ and my boyfriend are friends and I also want to tell my boyfriend about this.
The thing that makes this all complicated is that I was r*ped about 3 years ago. I've told my boyfriend this and he has been extremely supportive. I don't want t be "the girl who cried r*pe" and also I'm sure I am kinda sensitive about this kinda stuff so I want to be sure that I am not over reacting.
Should I tell my boyfriend? How would I tell him? (electronically or in person?, I don't see him for 5 days)
@weareall1 You are not over-reacting, at all. These men violated you. Think about your intentions behind telling your boyfriend, so that you can set your expectations. Are you wanting him to stop being friends with them? Are you just wanting his support? What do you want the end result to be? Would you feel more comfortable sharing in person? Then do that. Would you be more comfortable sharing via text? Then do that. Have realistic expectations for his reaction. Hopefully he handles it great and decides to support you (and should likely re-evaluate if he wants to be friends with people who would sexually harass someone). However, also be prepared that he doesn't handle this news well or doesn't believe you because it may be hard for him to grasp that he is friends with abusive men. Also, if you feel that you can, absolutely report the 2nd friend. You do not deserve to be harassed and he needs to be held accountable for his choices.
@weareall1 I have to agree with Dolphin. Think about this too, though...if you don't say anything about the harassment to your boyfriend and it comes to light, how will that impact your relationship with your boyfriend?
