Social Norms and conversations
I posted yesterday about how I struggle to make friends. Honestly another thing that bugs me sometimes is that I feel like I can’t talk to people. By that I mean that I don’t know how to hold up a conversation and I struggle to come up with topics. I don’t know how to be funny or witty and I don’t know what to say in response to other people’s stories sometimes. This may seem weird but sometimes I literally memorize phrases or slang to use in conversation so I can relate to other people. But even still it’s like I spend so much energy trying to keep it going. And I’m finding that this is getting worse even with my friends that I’ve known since I was four. I’m actually scared to call them because I’m worried they’ll think I’m boring and they won’t want to talk to me anymore. I know that this probably isn’t the case but it just feels like they’re doing so well for themselves and meeting people and trying new things and I can’t even strong together a 10 minute chat with someone without feeling like I ran a marathon.
Hey @adaptableBalsam8830!
I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult and frustrating situation. I definitely have been in this situation when I got introduced to a whole different friend group who had a completely different culture than I did. I tried so hard to 'fit in' learned their slangs and phrases for conversation and did my best to try to get their approval. At the end, I may perhaps know some as good acquaintances but none of them really became a 'friend'. I think my takeaway on that is my friendships now are great because I realized that these relationships I can mostly be myself. I think most of my friends understand my own uniqueness and perspectives and enjoy that aspect about me. Also most of my friends share a common interest with me which also gives something to talk about everytime! I understand it feels difficult but don't give up!