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Unhelpful friendships

User Profile: wolfmama
wolfmama December 2nd, 2019

I'm not sure if this is correct forum, but I hoped to get some advice concerning friendships, boundaries and wellness.
The bottom line is I feel unappreciated, and I'm resentful. I priorisite my friends and always have, but I barely hear from anyone unless they need something, or they want to talk about themselves. I'm a commodity, not an equal, and I'm recognising my mood dipping massively more often; I'll be triggered, then I'll spiral for days, before I pull myself out of it. I've made different choices to my friends and its isolating; I dont have children or a family of my own. I know i probably expect more than they are able or willing to offer, but no matter how much i adapt my expectations or explain how their behaviour makes me feel, nothing changes which tells me they dont care. I've tried to make new friends (I dont know anyone where I live) but its daunting.
Recently, i visited my 'best friend' and told them I was struggling and that I was unhappy. They ignored me and started talking about themself. So I spent the entire visit listening to them and thinking that this situation proved my point.
I am part of the problem, I need to be part of the solution but I need some advice on how to prompt this.
I dont deserve to feel so down on myself, and I dont want to enter another new year without something changing.

2
User Profile: dontputworriesonClouds
dontputworriesonClouds December 2nd, 2019

@wolfmama

I have no advice for you but I was the same in my time...people are self centered, they need to draw energy and dump trash on people like us who can take it...they are utterly horse blimded in their paths and egos, some knowingly and deliberate, others just unknowingly...but we fell being there for them without them ever thinking for one second that we are humans and feeling souls as well...so yes it is heart sinking and as Itold one of my friends once, can I please talk now too, she said what? Ok, then after two of my words it was about her again, which I understood...

I guess it is our curse and sacrifice, having a broader mind and soul to be used by those in need and discarded at will as used tools...

That should not sadden us since we were and are useful, it is justthat noone cares about us too, so that is hard...

Who is tending our needs? No? Noone? Noone...I guess it is our "cross" to carry, our burden...

I learned one thing thrughout life: I took joy in helping others and if I got no help myself it did not matter since helping others made me feel good inside without expecting smth in return it frees your spirit and you can enjoy your work...

Feeel for you in my heart...