Unrequited Love & Fading Friendship

@angstqueen

Hi there Queen, Friendships are difficult and complex things. Sometimes magical and sometimes frustrating Often they might challenge us, either with the necessity to be more open or to let go of something that we might not be ready to let go of. They can be confusing and fill us with more than one emotion at a time. It can be tough to discern and navigate, and that's ok we are in it together, especially when we are open about our situation and asking someone for another perspective. Asking for help takes courage and strength.

From what you say it seems like this is a lasting relationship that is feeling particularly painful right now. It feels like youve invested a lot of time and trust into this best friend, and feel a rift forming, a diverging of ways we thought might have been bonded but actually wasn't. This can be excruciating, and there is a reason for that. It is natural. You had feelings hopes and dreams, all personal thingd that are slowly but surely getting torn away from you. Any loss is challenging, and has a grief process of its own, especially when we weren't prepared for it. We do get through it though and as odd as it may seem we learn and grow from these experiences. Through the challenges of these relationships we learn in a deeper way what that person meant to us, and how they supported us, what we needed (and in turn what we might want or need from others, or maybe need in our own personal development)

Its painful for me to say this, but it seems like he is pushing you away, trying to signal he is moving on, and as much as you want to try to "fix" it, it may not be the time right now. It can be hard to morn this long lasting onnection you had. You might even feel loss or that no one can fill that void and that might be true. There will be new people in your life in time that might help you in other ways you need at that time, as we are constantly changing and growing.you might even be able to help youself manage things you hadnt been able to before. Ive been in you position multiple times, and it sucks, theres no other way to put it. Theres a grief and helplessness to having a person give up on a relationship, but life goes on and we can all take steps forward I am here for you.

Some thoughts that might be helpful going forward.

1) What kinds of things do you enjoy doing, what makes you feel more relaxed, happy, important, or fulfilled? Some people enjoy swimming running or other forms of exercise. These release natural feel good chemicals. Others may prefer arts: coloring, drawing, writing, jornalling, acting,dancing, singing, etc. These may help with putting feelings and thoughts that we have into creative and productive media. Mediation and mindfulness can also be happy and more at peace. Knitting, crocheting or sewing can also be helpful, by bringing together unwound string, or other elements, like a broken unravelled heart you have into something beautiful and useful. Volunteering can also put you as a role of being part of something larger than oneself, provide community, and can also show even while in pain, you still have the opportunity and ability to help others as well.

Im not sure if you might find any of these visualizations or concepts helpful, but its also just a starting point for self care that will hopefully help you feel better

2) What do you want or need right now? And what might you want or need in a person going forward, that he didnt have?

these things can become standards for yourself. This kind of evaluation can help you look at what you want and deserve, as you dont deserve different elements of the hurt and pain in the situation, such as the maintaining of commitments. Sometimes things do come up, yes, but not constantly, not most of the time. And same can be said about some of the other attitudes. Low self-esteem can enourage us to to sell ourselves short, as it usually comes from rejection and pain earlier. Its a unhealty coping mechanism to try to avoid that same or further pain or rejection, but can get us into problematic and painful situations like this here. i want better for you and it can be aceived but likely with a lot of internal work and exploration. Recognizing what you deserve (positive things, love, compassion, respect, trust, vulnurability from the other party) and other things are all helpful things in personal development to the next step.

3) self care again.

Take your time and heal, you are strong. I believe in you, and hope this helps.