What Does It Mean to Love a Friend?
I love my friends. I think very highly of them and we shared many moments in which we spent quality time together whether it be through laughter or through depression. Although in our friendships we had plenty of ups and downs we always mentioned to have a positive and lasting relationship throughout.
However, something I've been wrestling with is how do we love our friends, especially when they are engaging in activities that we generally don't see them benefiting them. Per example, let's say one of your best friends are engaged in substance abuse. As a friend I want that friend to be happy, and if they say that substance is how they feel happy and normal it's hard for me to really speak against them. However, reality is, with science and other factors supporting this, substance abuse does more damage and causes long term effects that aren't necessarily easy to recover from.
How would you approach your friends about a scenario like this? When they believe their endeavor is beneficial for them but you know that it may not be? Is loving a friend to be accepting of all they do or more so wanting the best for your friend within your own perspective?
@sunnyWriting4806 I think if they're harming themselves and you care for them as a freind you should help them not facilitate harmful behaviour because doing otherwise would be a difficult conversation
It's tough but loving is not just accepting everything
flaws are different from self sabotage
preventing that is a form of support
@zealousGrace5023
That's a really good answer! I agree with you that there is a form of loving that requires us to guide our friends if they aren't in a necessary great space. I guess what's pretty difficult for me is knowing when they are in that place?
I agree, great answer! I guess I’d also add that once you’ve stated in an open and non-judgemental way what you feel about the situation, at the end of the day it’s up to them whether they receive that or not. Loving them, to my mind, would be letting them know your opinion on the situation, while also accepting that they have the right to disagree and have a different opinion (even if it isnt a sensible one). It might come down to a statement of ‘you know how I feel about that, but what you choose to do is up to you’ and move on as best you can to things that you do agree on.
Only in cases where it’s not immediately self-harming... there is a place to put your foot down, but as you say hard to judge where the line is.
@ArbieLo
Great insight! I think that's a very solid answer and way of going about this issue. Loving a friend requires both respect for their autonomy but also acknowledgement of their well-being. Thanks for sharing!