What can I do?
So I'm fairly new to 7Cups, but I'm hoping for some advice. Long story short: I'm bi, but I lean more towards girls. And I made the horrible mistake of falling in love with my best friend, who is straighter than the average ruler. I already told her, but I think she thinks I've gotten over her. I haven't. What can I do to get myself past her? I know she'll never return my feelings, but I just can't seem to get past it.
Hi! I'm a therapist here and I have a heart for people in relationship recovery. I am sorry to hear your feelings are not returned. That is an awful place to be and there is no easy solution. I want to mention that getting over people is similar to the stages of grief you move through when a loved one dies. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The important thing to remember is that there are a range of feelings and a journey with no "on/off" switch. There is no "normal" time to get over someone (I get that question a lot) and its hard when that person is still in your life (like you probably want a friend to be). I would be happy to discuss this more privately if you wish. Give yourself some grace and a little reality check - if there is no chance with this person, does it help you to hang on or move on? Maybe make a list of the things you like about this person and look for those as you wait and watch for someone who could share your love.