asking how I am

I don't know if I'm emotional because it's night or because all of the feelings I have bottled up is slowly overflowing. I just feel kinda really alone and disconnected from my friends. my fault since I keep everything bottled up so they don't feel like they can't fall about whatever is going on. I just feel so exhausted always helping people and then having no one I can talk to. no one who genuinely checks up on me or asks about my day, I feel like my best friend and I are drifting apart. I just feel I'm just the second choice to everyone. I'm only there if there is no one else to talk to or if they have problems. and I'm tired. I love helping people, I just wish I got the same support and love back. I hope this doesn't sound selfish. I just wish I was someone's favorite person