disappointing
so one of my close friends, invited me to spend the night at her house, but my mom said no because she wants to be safe. And I completely understand and agree that everyone should be safe and again I understand. but I just feel like I'm disappointing my friend and letting her know. I'm already feeling left out in a gc we have with 2 other people (they make a lot of inside jokes and just tend to keep me out of things and I know not everything is about me and I'm glad they have that connection, I really am):I just have a low self esteem and I feel like I'm not enough and now I feel like my friends see that and are gonna leave me. I just feel like I'm being a bad friend by saying no, because idk if it's my overthinking and anxiety talking, but I feel like she is now texting in a different tone. I just have bebe having a really bad day, and this was just a cherry on top for my mental health
@smolstrawberries
Hey! I hope you're doing well now since it's been a while. I hope you haven't lost connect with your friend.
That being said, I completely understand your predicament. I always had sort've 'overprotective' parents who didn't allow going out alone after a certain time even when I moved away for the last two years of high school; going over to a friend's place for the night just wasn't happening. But even with the rejections I've given other people, the friends that were 'meant' to stay - sounds cliché, but believe me - stayed. I know it feels terrible to be missing out on things since I've been through the same myself but what I'd suggest you do to compensate for missing out on all of the rest is making plans of your own with them!
Although they shouldn't be leaving you out just because you cannot be with them for certain events like sleepovers or the likes, if you really feel like you want them to stay in your life, you can definitely initiate plans with them on your own. Maybe go out for coffee or to the arcade or whatever you like doing together? Maybe watch a show together on Netflix? There's a lot of stuff you can do without actually needing to meet your friends too! This will definitely help you get closer to them, but remember, your effort should only go as much as your mental health allows it to :) Don't overburden yourself with trying to please others and don't sustain connections with people who don't reciprocate the same kind of energy and enthusiasm!
And as for the way she's texting, maybe she's also just having a rough day of her own? Something going on in her mind and she can't respond normally? If that's not the case, and this thing is really bothering you, you can definitely message her and ask about why she isn't responding the way she normally would! Just out of friendly concern. It'll calm your nerves, and stop you from jumping to conclusions, which I suffer from as well so I know the exhausting drill. If they're your friends, they wouldn't mind!
I hope everything goes well for you!
