i screwed things up 😶

So there's this one friend of mine that I've know for 2 years or something. We were very close friends and I really enjoyed his friendship, but lately I realized that I began splitting with him. Last year I started liking him romantically and everything was going well until he like stopped talking to me for a few months. It was because of some personal issues of his. I forgived him and we started over. But then all of a sudden I started to hate him over the stupidest things. I would talk to him normally and be super nice to him, we would flirt and everything, but then if he didn't answer me or something I would begin hating him. And it would go ovrr and over. I began seeing things that didn't exist and over interpreting everything he did. Then 2 weeks ago I was the biggest jerk ever to him, I was extremely rude and he came to talk and I was rude to him again. At the moment I didn't realize it was because of my borderline and not because of something he had actually done. But when I realized it, I felt awful and I apologized to him, I recognized I was being toxic all along and said I was sorry, but he didn't answer. I think he won't talk to me again and maybe he even hates me... i don't know what to do... i feel awful...