who to talk to?

Me and my best friend have been growing apart this year, up to the point that I don't feel like we can talk about personal stuff anymore because we've grown into different directions. (its very hard for me to talk about my sexuality) So recently I met this guy, I have been falling in love with, however he has a boyfriend (who doesn't live in our country) but he wanted to have sex, and be friends. I refused the sex because im kind of scared of sex, though its a little more complicated than that, but its the main reason for me not being able to have relationships. I really want to do something about this i'm getting older, but i'm not sure were to start, and this status quo is driving me kind of crazy.
Anyway I've been ignoring the guy I've fallen in love with the past few days to make me not in love with him so i can be friends with him, i'm suspecting he's kind of done with me now becasue i'm being rude. (though still its salvagable) It's my birthday today and i'm having a really hard time all of the sudden I don't feel like doing anyting fun at all. I basically just want to talk to him, but I'm not sure if this is wise to do.
I haven't know him for that long so I don' treally want to bother him with my issues (also i'm not sure how he feels about me) but I feel very comfortable around him (and that is a rare thing for me) and right now I feel like I only want to talk to him about this right now.
In my perfect scenario I'd stop being in love with him and make him my new best friend. but i'm afraid I'll scare him off when I'll tell him of all my issues.
on top off all this I also think I just shouldn't whine so much and just man up, Am I overreacting? should I talk to him or should I find someone else to talk to?