12 Signs a Past Trauma May Be Affecting Your Relationship

1. You avoid certain topics when talking with your partner.

When you're haunted by the memory of a trauma, it’s common to steer clear of topics that remind you of it.

2. It’s hard to do certain activities.

In a similar way, you might feel compelled to avoid activities that trigger painful memories or make you feel unsafe.

3. You believe negative things about your partner.

Trauma affects the way we see the world and other people, including our partner. Any major trauma can make it easier to assume the worst about others; traumatic events that were directly caused by another person, such as abuse or an assault, can have especially potent effects on your relationship.

4. You often feel defensive.

Trauma can leave you with an unfairly low opinion of yourself, too. This negative self-image may leave you with a lower threshold for thinking your partner is criticizing you. In response, you get angry at your partner’s perceived putdowns.

5. Your partner startles you.

If your partner makes a sudden noise or appears when you’re not expecting them, you nearly jump out of your skin. It’s not that you’re afraid of your significant other; it’s a sign of a nervous system on high alert.

6. You’re less excited about doing activities with your partner, including sex.

A lack of interest in activities—even ones you used to enjoy—is a common symptom of posttraumatic stress and might lead to conflict with your partner. Low interest is especially pronounced if you’re also depressed, which is common after trauma.

7. You feel disconnected from your partner.

Many people feel detached from their world and the people around them after trauma.

8. You often feel negative emotions.

You may find that feelings like anger, fear, or sadness color a lot of the time you share with your partner.

9. You are irritable toward your partner.

On a related note, you find that little things your partner does can really annoy you. Y

10. You don’t sleep well.

It’s hard to sleep well when the brain and body feel threatened.

11. It’s hard to focus on your partner.

You often find that you’re not really following what they’re saying as your mind keeps drifting to other things.

12. It’s hard to feel love for your partner.

You may know you love them, but it’s hard to really connect with those feelings. It might also be hard to feel and receive the love they express for you.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

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