4 years together ,, 5 months apart

Honestly just wanna vent and u dont have to say much but if u do want to speak or give ur input dont hesitate to.

well so my ex and i broke up around 5 months ago and we didn't have the most normal relationship, we knew each other for 2 years prior then 2 years in a relationship. we never met IRL and were strictly online, her choice, i accepted. our relationship wasn't bad we had our ups and downs and often struggled with communication that by the end when we eventually did break up we never had a real closure, and it stayed that way for months, well until recently maybe a week ago when i decided i needed closure because, this is gonna sound weird, we still follow each other on *** but we never interacted since the breakup. and i saw a few of her posts/stories whenever she posted them and id get this yearning feeling about how lonely i am rn and how great it is to have a special someone, not necessarily her but she and i had a long relationship so its usually her im picturing, anyway, so i sent her this message congratulating her of a recent achievement she posted and then said that our breakup felt unfinished and how i dont hold it against her about how we sometimes fought and argued, we both had our fair share of mistakes and that we weren't compatible, and then said i have no hate for her in my heart and i apologized for the mistakes i made, wished her the best then sent.

her reply to that wasn't the greatest she basically said the same except for the apology part as shes one proud girl.

well comes later this week she posted a story of a guys arm holding a cat and well i can tell this guy wasn't family or anything because i kinda know her brother and father and the hand didnt match them which actually made me a bit.. sad? i did think and fully believe i got over her till that moment because why did i feel that way yk? and also ive had some dreams about her in the last couple of weeks, i dont remember them except for one i had today which was the weirdest honestly, to start it off i was another person in the dream which happens to be an ex of hers, not really but in the dream he was, and i was controlling his body, as i was moving with her and we're going from place to place late at night we went to an abandoned house or something and we started kissing, and that wasn't that great to me because it annoyed me how it's something i never got to do.