5 Reasons People Put Up With Abusive Relationships

1. Homeostasis. Our bodies and minds have an automatic tendency to maintain a stable state of balance. We unconsciously gravitate toward the comfort of the familiar because we feel safer in environments in which we have learned to adapt and survive. The problem is that victims of abuse grow accustomed to constant states of fear, anxiety, and stress. So much so, they may learn to adapt to these heightened states of psychological and physiological arousal as the new normal.

2. Denial. A victim may rationalize and minimize abusers’ behavior by convincing themselves that it’s not really that bad, or that they may have deserved the punishment.

3. Learned Helplessness. This psychological mechanism develops in victims suffering from repeated abuse over time in environments where they have no control. Victims eventually stop trying to escape because all their efforts appear futile. While this may seem irrational, it allows victims to conserve energy by ceasing to struggle and fight back while focusing on surviving the threats.

4. Intermittent Reinforcement. When behaviors are rewarded randomly as opposed to consistently, these behaviors are often more likely to occur as subjects tend to exhibit greater effort in hopes of attaining the elusive reward. Think of the enticing pull of a slot machine, not knowing when the next payout happens. This creates “trauma bonding” and a powerful emotional attachment that is hard to break that finds victims making excuses for their abuser. While this may not appear to make sense, it does help the victim better cope with life and the unusual cruelty they feel compelled to endure.

5. Stockholm Syndrome. Similarly, this psychological mechanism involves hostages developing a sense of emotional bonding, affection, and loyalty toward their captors. Victims may go to extraordinary lengths to defend their abusers and modify their belief systems, sometimes reframing their captors as protectors. From the perspective of outsiders, these actions may seem crazy, but they function to de-escalate the crisis by facilitating a sense of stability, security, and safety in a very dangerous situation.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are some other reasons you think people put up with abuse?

#Relationships #Abuse #Trauma #MentalHealth