Abandonment issues, feeling hopeless

My boyfriend left Saturday and said he'd be back today.

Today , at the last minute, he says his dad is dying. I'm starting to wonder if this is an attempt from his dad to keep him from leaving. I wonder if he really IS dying. He overdosed on drugs and went to the hospital causing my boyfriend to worry and stay home longer than he planned one time he was supposed to see me. I think it's a narcissistic manipulation tool. I don't like his parents especially his mother. They don't like me and don't want me to stay at their place. They don't feed him. He has to provide for himself. They don't let him leave the house. I know toxic and narcissistic. That's what my abusers were. My own mom and cousin.Then he tells me his dad is demanding him to stay at home. That he should leave tomorrow. He's torn between staying or leaving. This happens to me a lot. Whenever I tell people they just tell me to grow up I see him everyday. They don't realize I have trauma and abandonment issues because of that. Plus I've been depending on him for my life essentially.

This is unfair.I almost always expect this now.I feel like crying.One of these days it night be weeks or months of not seeing him. I can't bear being away from him that long.On top of this issue I've hardly been eating latelyAnd I only had three hours of sleepWithout ANY of my medications my health is bad. My allergy medicine my depression medicine, and sleep medicine are out. And they all go hand in hand.I went to urgent care months back, before I moved, and they said my insurance isn't accepted and to call the number on the back of my card ( which I lost) or pay up front. So I just looked up the number and called and had to go through automated voices. And a bunch of options I didn't understand. So because of that Ive been without insurance.I hardly eat cause I have pretty much no food and have to hide what I have so it doesn't get stolen and I'm not forced to give it away.

I didn't get much sleep because of pain and discomfort, and high energy at night keeping me awake. I practically rot in this corner because I'm always afraid something will happen. With Kim yelling all the time and I hardly know or trust anyone I'm afraid to ask for things. I don't want to get yelled at or shut down. I'm very fragile and have extreme social anxiety. All thanks to my trauma.