A fight where my bf is silent
I asked my boyfriend of three years the first favor in our relationship. It was to take care of my dog for two weeks when I am away on a vacation with my parents. His full-time job is being a tech engineer - he sleeps at my house at night and feeds and plays my dog twice a day while I’m gone. i’m the type of girl Who is super independent and never asked for a favors from my boyfriend before, But since we are Planning to get married in June next year, he tried really hard to plan his schedule and take care of my dog. Yesterday was the last day that he has to take care of my dog Since I will be arriving at 2 AM in the morning. However, We had a fight during the last minute. Since he is at work all day For his full-time job, I wanted him to also spend a little bit more time with my dog when he came back from work before I arrived at 2:00am Because my dog is never left alone for more than eight hours before. I never traveled without my dog for that long before. When i was at the airport waiting for my last flight coming home I texted him at 5:00pm and he’s said he’s still at work. The second time I texted him around 7 PM and he said he’s already at his home.
at this point, I panicked About my dog. But I still try to make sure By asking him the second time: I thought I asked you to take care of my dog until 8pm or 9:00? His response was: I’m with my mom, so I could not stay long with him.
If that moment i was irritated and said: you were already planning to come home tonight, why did you have to pick up your mom from work and went to My house?
He said:? Because it was raining and my mom was at home alone, So I wanted to take her with me as well so she can hang out for a little bit.
my boyfriend spends a lot of his time with his mom (she’s 72 and he lives with his mom) whenever he can. (We are Asians and the plan was after getting married with him, i’ll have to live with his mom too).
After my second attempt asking, his response irritated me and i complained about him not spend enough time with my dog even though i specifically asked him to. And he said; i was already planning to come back at 9;00pm and stay with him for a few more hours.
Our relationship issue has always been communication. That’s why i asked two times to make sure, but he still didn’t say clearly that he was planning to come back later until I actually got mad. i told him that i asked him two times, he could have a answered clearly everything in one message.
He’s upset that i blamed him for such a small thing even though he tried hard planning his schedule so he could take care of my dog for me. I’m i the b*tch for getting irritated over something that isn’t worth it like that?
sometimes i wonder how i should behave or talk… cus i really do get annoyed easily.
It sounds like your boyfriend tried hard to do what you asked of him. Considering he has other commitments like work and family members it sounds like he did well juggling the commitments. Unless I’ve read incorrectly, He spent time but not enough from what I gather you’re saying. Because he doesn’t permanently live at your house it would be hard for him to split his time.
Although it sounds like he does have a lot of commitments like the poster below said and he did "try," you didn't force him to agree to take care of your dog. If he wanted to spend time with his mother, he could've brought her along to dogsit. If that's not possible, he should've just been honest with you and said he didn't have time or didn't want to care for your dog.
What he basically said by not taking care of your dog was he doesn't care that much about your dog. You have every right to be annoyed.
It's entirely up to you, but I would definitely not move into that situation. If you wonder how you should behave or talk around him, you can't be yourself obviously. You deserve to be you fully always. 😊
