Ashamed of my fetish

I just figured out I have a fetish and it’s so weird and embarrassing and I feel so ashamed and wrong. I want to get rid of it and be turned on by normal things instead.

For context, I’m a 21 year old woman, autistic, a virgin, and want to be in a relationship but never have been, and now I’m scared because no one can know about this fetish.

I thought I was asexual because normal stuff doesn’t ever turn me on. I started enjoying whump at a pretty young age (that’s characters being sick or getting hurt), no idea why, I have no trauma or anything, but yeah. It seems like it’s escalated, and now it actually turns me on. The worst part is that when I come across tiktoks that cater to people with a disability kink, that also turns me on, and way more than regular whump content. I feel so ashamed but can’t stop my body reacting. It’s something about seeing someone vulnerable and needing help and I like to imagine I’m the person helping. But it also makes me feel like ***. I just wish I could get rid of this feeling, because it feels so wrong and I’m disgusted with myself and embarrassed. I feel like I’m holding this big secret and I hate that. I just want to be turned on by normal things instead. What can I do? I’m scared there’s nothing I can do, and the answer is going to be to learn to live with it, but I don’t wanna be stuck with this fetish that I know people would find disgusting if they knew.