At a loss, feeling alone in a marriage

I'm on vacation and my husband just said that to me after me breaking down after stressing over a whole bunch of thoughts.

He's not feeling well and when he's not feeling well, it's hard for him to focus on anything but what he's going through. I've been taking care of him. Got into a big argument last night because he wasn't being straight with me about something. This morning, we attempt to talk but he's nodding off and honestly, I couldn't tell if he was listening. We went for massages and I'm just relaxing. After massages, he says how come I didn't check in with him as often as i usually do to make sure he's comfortable and okay because thats what he was doing. I just said you look comfortable and sleeping and I wanted to give him space. I didn't know that's what he wanted Me to do. He says he didn't want me to do it and he was just doing it because he wanted to ensure that I was comfortable. I said, I appreciated that but it seems like you wanted me to do the same.

As we are driving back, he just Randomly says obgyn and how I should go to get an IV drip to feel comfortable or something about me being off my mess (i'm off BC for years now). I think this was the meds speaking but I can't help why those thoughts came about. We get home, I'm sitting I'm a corner just crying. He's within his own sickness. Not once did he ask if I was okay or whats wrong. He only did that when I finally stood up, balling now and gave up going to the bathroom.

Gets into a conversation where I said I'm not okay. I feel alone. I feel unheard. He says he doesn't like my tone, says I haven't even responding like myself since the massage, says he just thought obgyn would help with iv and feeling better.

And... I'm confused. At this point, I'm at a loss at the sequence of events... and now, I feel crazy like did everything I recall a figment of my imagination. He stays quiet and then as I tried to recount everything. He just says he can't do this. This is going I'm circle, he'll have the conversation when I'm being normal and not in this tone. I'm baffled now... feel crazier now, and tried to tell him what he means by normal etc.. fast forward a bit, I'm not on an emotional mountain trying my best to keep it together and I'm crying. Floodgates. I'm at a loss. It feels like everything's my fault. He's just sitting there angry and then he says this can't keep happening every month and saying how its unfair that i am putting all this pressure on him while knowing hes not well...I say, I'm not trying to put this pressure on him and I'm just trying to talk and he says that's fine but how I talking right now, the tone isn't good versus another time when though he wasn't feeling well (a few days ago) he's sweet, sees me upset, sees me and acknowledges me... like what happened...

Mind you, personally, I thought I was fine and that I'm responding regardless of my time of month. I don't recall this 'outburst' last month. Now, I'm livid... I guess it's my hormone for seeing and reacting this way.

Frankly, I feel unheard, I don't feel like he prioritizes our relationship, I feel like my emotions are dismissed and I'm being gas litted. I don't have anyone to talk to right now and really need someone to talk with. Because I feel so lost right now. I'm sorry that this story is all over the place. Am I going crazy?

He left for a walk while I'm visibly upset and having a mild panic attack/ anxiety attack and told me to come out when I feel like it.