Boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me

I’m struggling having a hard time getting through this. Last Saturday my boyfriend of two years and father to two of my kids, came home from dropping my oldest daughter and her friend off at the mall and said that he was going to his brothers and that he “didn’t know what he wanted, and didn’t know if he wanted to be with me” I begged him to communicate with me and work it out it and he watched me cry my eyes out and left. He essentially ghosted me after that and came back to get clothes two days later so he could go to work. He says if he comes back he won’t talk so there’s no reason for him to come home. I’ve tried supporting him, he says he’s depressed, off his medication and drinking and he doesn’t think he can be the man that he said he could be. I love him so much, he’s the first man I’ve let my guard down after my abusive marriage and I’m in a whole other level of pain right now. Especially seeing the pain it caused my kids.