Breakup

Hey everyone, I created an account on here because I need to vent in a safe space, I can’t do it at home, even crying I gotta do it when there’s no one or I’m alone in bed at night.

I’m going through a heartbreak, I would say my first ever heartbreak, this guy and I have been friends for 3 years now, we got really close to each other and had a great connection, last year we decided to start a romantic relationship, which wasn’t perfect but I would say everything feel perfect, like it was finally the right person, but due to him not being able to find a job, the last couple of months we’ve had a few conversations of me encouraging him to not give up, helping him find a job as we’re both immigrants we understand and supported each other in every step of our journey here, but while we were having this same conversation again on sat night he decided it was time to break up, he says he’s never felt as lost in life as he does rn and that he wants to be alone, I spent the next day feeling awful then he said he wanna breakup in person so we met and I had a little hope that he probably would change his mind but he didn’t and so we broke up, not in bad terms but in a way that I can’t stop crying when I remember it, we both cried, he said he’s sorry but he thinks that’s the best for us, now I asked him to be friends again as we were friends before our relationship but he says he needs time before it can happen, and I feel so awful, we were not only a couple but best friends, family of each other almost and the only sincere support we had in this town, I cannot stop crying, I don’t feel like doing anything and I don’t have any apetite even food tastes bad rn. What makes it worse is overthinking abt the future and the idea of not only having to be in the terrible dating market rn but also him meeting someone else, the idea that I will never find such a great connection is killing me and the fact that we also ended the relationship really sad and knowing we love each other makes it worse than ending in bad terms.