Cheating

I am a 23 year old music teacher for middle school and highschool. When I’m not attending concerts I like to hang out and play video games with my friends. I’ve been dating my girlfriend since highschool (8 years) which is what lead me to search for online therapy.

I’ve been with my gf since I was 14 and for more than half the time we have been somewhat long distance. She graduated highschool before me and we also went to different colleges for 2 years. Essentially we went to highschool for 2 years together and college for 2 years together and she currently lives 2 hours away. In the past I have emotionally cheated multiple times and I’ve always used the excuse of us being away from each other. There have been small changes and struggles after these occurrences but we have made up each time. My problem is that I always end up in a loop of flirting/talking to other girls and eventually getting caught. About a month ago I again fell into this toxic loop.

I know want to be better for my girlfriend. I don’t think I could love anyone else because we know each other so well. I think I’m just horrible at communicating my needs and wants. We have been trying a no contact break and I’ve also deleted *** off of my phone because I felt that was the root of the problem but I know deleting one app isnt going to change everything about me or what I’ve done.

I know no one can guarantee that I stay with my girlfriend but if I’m going to stay with her I want to try and understand myself better so I can communicate with her and be a better boyfriend.

I know it’s time to grow up and I don’t think I can do it alone