Confusing breakup
My bf recently decided to randomly breakup with me and I asked for a reason as to why he had come to this conclusion and he could not give me a solid reasoning.
Each time I asked I would get 3 different “reasons” followed by ‘I don’t want to loose you, I still want to see you, I want you around’. 4 days after that we went to a concert we both had planned for MONTHS and things got confusing as he was acting like nothing had happened and we were together.
That weekend passed and this Monday we had a call through FT and he decided we should both go no contact for two weeks as this is hurting us both. (Reason why two weeks is because we have a festival at the end of the month we both want to go to).
Currently am going through so many emotions I do not know what to think. Part of me thinks this isn’t over and that we will work things through but it is hurting me more and more… I am starting to feel like I am going delusional and am pacing around my house so much …. Any thoughts
@dxrw Sounds like you want closure. And that he isn't that into you.
could be I want closure but again completely confused with his actions.
@dxrw,
that he doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you doesn't mean he doesn't love you as a person.
We spoke on Monday. He told me reason he is breaking up with me is because currently he has a lot going on in life (he does have a lot of family drama going on) that he can’t be there for me 100%. He’s reached his limit on love with me and does not want to hurt me if he stays as much as he wants to.
@dxrw Ive been dating an "avoidant attachment style," who comes forward and gives some love and some time, but gets easily overwhelmed, and retreats so that she can keep her head right... However, from what Ive read/watched/listened to, they basically do this to keep their heads in a good space, process the emotions, and figure out what they want to do next. I, as an "anxious attachment style" am like "wait... where are you going? things were going so good, what do you mean you need to take a bunch of space and push me away?" I dont know if youre an anxious attacher, or a secure attacher, or an avoidant, but from what I understand, if youre an anxious or avoidant, you have an insecure attachment, basically meaning that theres a fear of uncertainty/rejection/etc.
He is definitely an avoidant attachment. He actually admitted it to me that that’s his style and mine was actually a mixture of Anxious/Avoidant but mainly anxious and I do see that.
there would be times where he’d get overwhelmed with how much love I gave him that he’d try to self sabotage and I’d call him out for it and made him see it. I definitely don’t have trust issues at all which I am surprised given my previous relationship I developed trust issues but with this partner they never came out.
But yea for now he decided to retreat which ofc saddens me and pains me knowing he didn’t want to take this route, but I just have this intuition he will be coming back. Just needs time to reflect and clear his thoughts.