Dealing with a narcissist
So I’m so lost as far as being with someone who is a complete narcissist. It doesn’t help either that he’s 54 and I’m 38 so he treats me like a child. This is a person who we been together for years now was actually homeless and I worked my *** off to find us a place.. only problem is the place is under his name because I found him a job as a manager for a apartment complex and so it’s under his name and now that he thinks he’s got *** he’s been treating me anyway he wants and threatens to kick me out every day if I don’t abide by his rules.. and as much as I want out of the situation at the same time if I leave I’ll be back in the street and I just can’t mentally go thru that again.. right now I don’t have to pay rent neither does he but he still gets paid on top of the job and if wasn’t for me he would never of even have the place. This is a guy who I have bent over backwards for saved his *** from going to prison for 3 years yet he can never acknowledge any good doing I do.. he constantly picks on me finds all the wrong in me accuses me of *** im not doing cuz he’s so insecure cuz of his baby mama.. constantly putting me down calling me names makes me out to be the bad guy pretty much treats me like I cheated on him yet won’t treat me like a gf.. has major control issues and the list goes on.. yes I know there’s so many red flags but it’s hard to explain the whole situation without going deep into everything.. I already know what I need to do for my own sanity but at the same time I feel like it’s so unfair for me to leave when I found him the job and place and he knows what we went through to even get back on our feet and like I said I just can’t go back to the streets living in my car.. I do work and all but *** is so expensive and I don’t have family to turn to and friends are struggling too so not like I can ask them for help.. I’m not willing to go to a shelter because most places are horrible and jjst won’t do it.. so at this point I just don’t know cuz I don’t want him to think he has that control and will win but at the same time it’s not even worth the arguing and fighting for no reason.. this is me just more venting if anything.. I really want his *** best but lol that won’t solve anything it just makes me mad cuz he rather fight then get along cuz that’s alll he knows from lass relationships.. and when I came along all I was trying to show him love and that someone cares and he ain’t use to that so he does everything to destroy a good thing. I guess that’s all for now food for thought
@Mowoods
Your situation is very complex, and naturally, there is no single, simple solution. It can't be simple because it involves both psychological and physical aspects. But the most important thing I’ve realized is that he doesn’t value you at all and believes things are exactly as they should be. He thinks you owe him—that the whole world owes him. That is the mindset of a typical narcissist. So, it seems to me there is no chance he will start treating you differently. The main thing for you right now is to maintain your boundaries—to try, at least sometimes, not to let him behave that way.
Secondly, I think you need to look for a place of your own. Simply put, life the way it is now is unacceptable. I think you realize that yourself. It’s just that finding housing is difficult, and I don’t know what you could do in this situation. Living on the street isn't an option.
And one more important thing: you deserve to be treated well. You are a good person. You have a right to love, care, and respect. Remember that. You will get through this!
Thank you for your honest feedback I appreciate and agree.. I know wat needs to be done and what I must do it was more just thoughts running in my head and have anyone willing to listen and share their opinions.. so thank you ❤️🙏🏽
