Dealing with verbal abuse, toxic parents, and generational trauma
Hey guys. I'm just trying to find some answers and stay anchored right now. My husband and I are going through a crisis with serious domestic issues, and his behavior has become verbally abusive. His parents are trying to step in, but they are completely blind to boundaries and their own unhealed history. To make things worse, my own mom completely turned on me when I tried to explain how trauma affects a person's adult mind. She hung up on me and texted a wave of hypocritical judgment. I feel incredibly isolated from my family of origin, attacked by the person who was supposed to love me, and trapped in a very heavy environment at home. I love my husband and I'm trying to navigate this one day at a time, but it is so heavy. Looking forward to connecting with others who get it.
Hi @passionateSky3193, thanks for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you are carrying a lot right now, and I'm sorry you are dealing with this all at once. You described being stuck between a partner who's become verbally abusive, in-laws who don't respect boundaries, and a parent who shuts you down instead of listening, which would be a lot for anyone to cope with. It makes complete sense that you're feeling isolated and overwhelmed.
When the people who are supposed to be your support system either attack you, dismiss you or bring their unresolved trauma into the situation, it can make you feel like you're fighting every battle by yourself. That's such a painful place to be, especially when you still care about your husband and are trying to take things one day at a time.
You’re taking a great step by reaching out here. Wanting connection, wanting to feel understood, wanting a space where you’re not being judged or shut down, and that’s completely valid. You're not alone in this. A lot of people here know what it’s like to deal with toxic family dynamics, partners who lash out, and the weight of generational trauma. You’re allowed to talk about it as much as you need.
If you do want to keep sharing please feel free to use the forums, or request a chat with a 1:1 listener to discuss further!💗