Different person in the same font that affected my self-esteem
I have 2 exes. The first one cheated on me and we broke up in bad terms. Our relationship was physically and verbally toxic because he’s calling me names or screaming at me whenever we’re fighting. He cheated on me twice with his girl best friend and that hurts because the girl knew we were together but she’s flirting with him behind my back. I forgave this guy 2 times because I loved him a lot and I want my first to be my last but it didn’t worked out in the end because he finally chooses his girl best friend
The second one has kind as a friend but I guess was emotionally abused, he also cheated on me. He was avoidant, performative, and love bomber. This guy cheated on me with 5 girls, he was texting and irting them behind my back while dating me and being sweet to me. He’s sporty, during his training, he drank with this one girl and made out with her. I only found out because the girl’s friend told me about it. I forgave him again as many times as I can, I always accept him into my life. My friends call me stupid or no self respect but it’s just who I am, i rarely get mad with everybody and I really have a soft heart.
As I keep this 2nd guy many chances, he never changes and at that point I just cried and wondered why people do this to me. Do I lack something? Am I not valuable? Not lovable? Will someone ever love me genuinely? That hurts a lot for someone who came from a broken family.
It is really awful that you were cheated on and disrespected all the while trying to be a good partner. You did not deserve that at all.
I'm also sorry that your friends are name calling and not doing what they should, which is sitting you down, listing all your positive qualities and reminding you how wonderful you are and that you deserve better treatment.
To be cherished and celebrated as a person, instead of being taken for granted and unappreciated.
There's nothing wrong with being soft and open hearted, it's admirable.
Question why you rarely get mad though? Are you avoiding confrontations?
Just because you pretend everything is ok, it doesn't mean it is. Being angry at certain words or actions is perfectly normal.
I have been disrespected and cheated on and both are not tolerated, so when that happens, all trust is broken.
The bond has been tarnished and I always say to myself, this is not how someone treats a person they supposedly care about.
When you don't stand up for yourself and let others treat you badly, they don't often wise up and develop a conscience...
Typically they see it as...... Oh I can do or say anything and because I'm not confronted, there are no consequences. Yipee I get to continue behaving badly...
Moving forwards, take relationships slowly and look for warning signs, they are not being unkind.
Wow, you made me realize a lot about myself and you too deserve the best in life after also getting cheated on. I admire you for standing up for yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, it really helped me reflect on myself!
@ririboom I just wanted to provide a friendly ear and thanks for your sweet words :)