Disconnected from Marriage- TMI

I’m married but feeling disconnected, and I’ve been craving attention from two guys from my past.

Say one guy friends with benefits from 6 years ago and we keep talking but he takes day to week to respond. Keeps wanting me to visit in Austin and I’m in Washington state and he’s just breadcrumbing me. Other guy I had a class with 7 years ago and he didn’t want to make effort with me because he’s a virgin then in April he kept asking me for photos and got upset if I sent them. I was feeling ballsy yesterday and told him how love life is and he said *** I said why he say no one treat me right I said I did he said fair I said I miss talking to you he says why I said because you make me smoke and safe he said awe that’s sweet I said you miss talking to me he said ya I said why and he said because I miss talking and I said that made me smile he open didn’t respond but saw snap story. First guy hasn’t look at message in a week so I deleted it yesterday. Both guys think I’m divorced/getting a divorce. I lied so I can get attention from them.

The reason why I feel disconnected from my husband is he wants to wait a couple more years until we have kids. we’ve been married for 4 years and I am 27 and he is 26. He originally wanted kids at 30 but then he finally agreed to 2 years from now or so. Anytime I ovulate, he avoids me like the plague saying he doesn’t want to get me pregnant and does weigh me down. Him and I have multiple talks about this and he basically said he already compromised .

I know this isn’t healthy and I want to understand why I’m doing this and how to stop.