Disconnected from Marriage

I’m married but feeling disconnected, and I’ve been craving attention from two guys from my past.

one guy friends with benefits from 6 years ago and we keep talking but he takes day to week to respond. Keeps wanting me to visit in Austin in Washington state and he’s just breadcrumbing me. Other guy I had a class with 7 years ago and he didn’t want to make effort with me because he’s a virgin then in April he kept asking me for photos and got upset if I sent them. I was feeling ballsy yesterday and told him how love life is and he said *** I said why he say no one treat me right I said I did he said fair I said I miss talking to you he says why I said because you make me smoke and safe he said awe that’s sweet I said you miss talking to me he said ya I said why and he said because I miss talking and I said that made me smile he open didn’t respond but saw snap story. First guy hasn’t look at message in a week so I deleted it yesterday. Both guys think I’m divorced/getting a divorce. I lied so I can get attention from them.

The reason why my husband and I are disconnected is because he wants to wait to have kids. I am 27 he is 26 and we’ve been married for 4 years. He originally wanted kids at 30, but now he says he is willing to try in 2027. Anytime I ovulate he stays away from me like the plague because he doesn’t want me to get pregnant. Him and I’ve had many talks about this but it never is resolved.

I know this isn’t healthy and I want to understand why I’m doing this and how to stop.