Emotional affair
My wife started talking to her ex in May, which quickly escalated into an emotional affair, he is currently incarcerated and was using an inmate email app, as well as phone calls. The affair lasted over a month before I logged into her account and found the messages. Being unfamiliar with the app, I was unaware of the video messages, and while there were references to them in the messages, some are missing entirely, while the ones that are just fully dressed talking are still there.
Having confronted her about everything, she denies remembering the video messages and is unaware of why they are missing. She just insists on that she is a horrible person and made a mistake.
I am having issues with determining if she is being honest with me, as the videos were treated as though they don’t exist until I discovered mention of them in the letters they wrote back and forth, about 200 pages of text. When I discover anything it is always I don’t remember.
The tone of the messages changed a lot after I discovered everything and confronted her about it, to the point that she now takes days to respond to him, and seems to ignore his calls. She insists that she never wanted him, and was unaware that an emotional affair is cheating. I feel that much of her responses have been contradictory to what she wrote to him. How am I supposed to trust her when I feel she has been dishonest throughout this whole thing?
@decisiveRaspberries1848
Well, it's a terrible situation and to be honest, it seems to me that your wife is behaving in the most pragmatic way. That is, if she hadn't denied the affair and communication, she would have lost you, your life, economic and other aspects of your life together. At the same time, her ex wouldn't have been able to compensate for this, would he? That's why she might be lying to you now, she's just become more careful. In any case, it's not a very healthy thing and I think the question here is not what she's hiding, but something else. Why did she start communicating with him again so easily? This is a question for you as well, but I hope you can figure it out. Hang in there!
She has apparently kept in contact off and on, and supposedly this is the first time she has ever cheated. She contacted him when he was in the hospital this year, before he was moved back to prison. From there the communication grew.
I guess I should also share that she refers to him as a friend, not an ex. I find this a bit odd.