Family Struggles
My dad's a narcissistic alcoholic. He's been this way before I was born. I'm 28 years old. Because of my preexisting condition and other issues I still live at home with my parents. He can be very difficult to be around, especially when he's drinking. If my mom and I ignore him then he calls his siblings and gets enabled by them. His drinking and actions have basically affected the whole family.
I have no idea why my father continues to live like this. My dad is 72 years old. The older he gets the worse his addiction to alcohol and his ego has become. He never wants to admit he has a problem and will blame everyone else. He's been to rehab( he left after three weeks) and gone to plenty of AA meetings, yet nothing changes.
My mom has breast cancer. i worry if something happen to her then I'd be stuck living with him. I used to talk about all this a lot with my cousin but she recently got diagnosed with MS and her now ex husband cheated on her, so she's pretty much ghosting everyone. I do my best and thank God for given me the strength to deal with him, yet it's not easy. I have my own goals and dreams, yet sometimes life feels like this big circle I'm trapped within. I don't like to talk about it much cause it can be very upsetting. Plus personally it feels like when I tell someone they don't understand or even blame me. I'm not innocent, yet I know his problems aren't my fault and I should be able to express my values and thoughts without fear or shame. I want him to get better, yet it doesn't seem possible honestly.
If anyone else is in a similar situation I'm thinking about you and praying for you.
@WellsFiction
WOW Wells you are an amazing, strong, persistent, and an enduring person. A narcissistic alcoholic father, a mother dealing with breast cancer. That is a lot to be dealing with, families are not easy. Your feelings are valid and valued. You are most welcome to express them here anytime you wish. We are here for you without judgement or pressure.
You are only responsible for your actions, no one else’s, and none of us are without blame. We all are human and will make mistakes.
I will not say I completely understand, because I am not you. Your experiences are yours and they are valid. We all here have family issues and you are right to feel the way you do. You are strong and we are here for you.
What goals and dreams do you have?
@Barltik2065 Thank you very much! I want to be a successful published author. It's always been my dream write and publish my fiction. I'm getting closer to that goal now which is great. I'd also like to travel and visit places. I'd love to go to Ireland and other places in Europe or just across America. I want to make the world a better place cause I know so many are struggling. Life is a blessing. We tend to forget that sometimes :)
@WellsFiction
You are most welcome!
Fiction writer, how amazing!
Such a wonderful gift to take the family negative issues, such as Dad with Narcissistic Alcohol and the pain and suffering of being powerless. And put them to words and stories of travels.
WOW that be so much fun to get lost in a positive motivating world.
And yes Life is a Blessing!
For fun, check out an old old movie called Mame with Rosalind Russell.
@Barltik2065 Nice! I'll check it out sometime thank you :)
Hey, love. I am so, so sorry for the horror your narcissistic father is putting you and your mother through. My father is a malignant narcissist, so I can imagine the things he might possibly put you through 😢💔 And I’m sorry to tell you that a narcissist gets worse with age. Those with Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) do not have the ability to reflect, and will only project their insecurities onto their victims. They thrive in chaos. Have you heard of the grey rock method?
@SailingFox Hi SailingFox. Yes, you're definitely right about that. And no what is the grey rock method?
“What Is Grey Rock MethodThe grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you.
Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don’t show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you. This is known as “grey rocking.” PsycCentral.com
I suck at explaining, so I hope that’s helpful :)
@SailingFox Oh that makes total sense! Like my mom and I pretty much figured him out. So when he's drinking or just being belligerent we tend to ignore him best we can. Thank you for telling me tho I'll look this up sometime :)
Glad I could help! 🤗 A friend with a narcissistic mother told me about it, so it’s something I try to help spread to other victims of narcissistic abuse too.
@SailingFox Yes! That is so good! I like to do the same :)
Yay, us! 🙌🏻🤗💜 Have you heard of Dr. Ramani? Watching her podcasts on Youtube and reading the comments under her videos has been so validating, and makes me feel less alone. Therapeutic, even.
@SailingFox The name sounds familiar. That's great! It's good to find relatable people out there who truly understand :)