Feeling angry

@niceOcean7809

Hello 😊 I still remember one of my recent trainings, which emphasized the fact that being angry is the most frequently met emotion among humans. So, to never become angry at all, you would have to be not a human, right?

I think I can understand how could you feel growing up with your father around. It was the same in our family home - children were forbidden to be loud, to be happy, and... to be angry.

I remember quite vividly some funny situation from the time when me and my brother were both under 10 or 12 years old. We were playing aliens in the basement of our house. We were using for that plastic bags on our heads (the helmets) and vacuum cleaner pipes (you know, for breathing toxic atmosphere of the Earth). Unfortunately, our dad was home early, assumed we were fighting, and gave us some beating "just in case".

Our mother was constantly threatening us that she would not love us anymore when we show any sign of anger - because children having their own emotions?... - for her that would be losing control over us and feeling endangered.

Does anything from this description sound familiar to you?

I believe anger has many faces: Yes, you are right, when misused it can do a lot of harm, it can destroy things and hurt precious human feelings and relationships. But first, anger is a signal: a message from your mind to yourself that something is going wrong. Second, anger is the energy you may need to change things around you (to make decisions, reorganize your life, start something anew, oppose to someone who hurts you and so on).

I believe anger doesn't make you a bad person 😊

But if you are choking with your own anger and feel it is burning you from the inside - how about reaching out for help?

Anger may inform us that we need some self-compassion. It may shout for our emotional wounds to be healed. It may say now we just want to be noticed, granted the right exist and feel. Finally, I believe it is about not letting my anger overwhelm me, and not making me act in a *** with the values I believe in. But first, you might be less angry when you take a warm, mindful, expecting, but also forgiving, attitude towards yourself.