Feeling really overwhelmed and anxious

So basically on Monday I called my boyfriend and we were just talking normally. Then he asked if I plan to live where he lives in the future I said, No, I don’t plan to live there Then he said, “Then we have to break up.” I was like, “What? Is it so easy for you to say we should break up?”he said it’s a joke I started telling him that I would fight for our relationship till the end, until we’re together. Then he said that he can’t fight for that long. I told him I didn’t like the joke about breaking up, and then he said that it wasn’t a joke anymore.I asked him what he meant by that, and he said that he can’t marry someone if he has to be in a long-distance relationship with them. I told him again that we could fight for our relationship till the end, and then he said, “What’s the point of fighting if you’re not going to live in there. He also said that we both have very different dreams.I couldn’t get the breakup out of my head, but then he kept saying that it was “just a damn joke.” He also said that I was thinking too much about it and that the reason I was feeling sad was because of how I was taking it.I kept bringing it up, and then he said, “I had to take a nap, but I couldn’t because of this topic. I’m also late because I have to visit my friend, and you know my friend doesn’t like it when I’m late.”I told him that I was sad, and he said that he was sad too. Then I told him that I respect his dream of living in India. He replied, “What’s the point of respecting my dream if you’re not going to move to there” I said that I do respect his dream, but I just don’t plan to live in there.Then he asked, “How are we supposed to fight for this relationship if we’re not going to live together?” I brought up again that what he said about breaking up had really hurt me, and he aggressively said, “It’s just a damn joke. It’s just a damn joke.” He said he had to go because he was getting late. Then he said that if I were mature enough, I would understand. After that, he said, “Bye. Goodbye. Good night,” and hung up because I wasn’t saying anything.I didn’t say anything because I was just so taken aback. I was shocked by how coldly he was talking to me.Then I called him back and told him again how much it had hurt me. He said that I had brought it up so many times and repeated that it was “just a damn joke.” I told him that even if it was a joke, it hurt me, and saying that it was “just a joke” didn’t validate my feelings or give me any reassurance.He coldly said sorry a few times. Then I brought up how much it hurt when he said that if I were mature enough, I would understand, and how he had just gone ahead and hung up. He said that he didn’t just cut the call and that he had been waiting for me to say something.I told him again that it really hurt me, and he said, “You let anything hurt you. You feel sad about so many things.” He kept saying things like that.Then he said again that he had to take a nap and that he had plans with his friend and was already late. He said he had to go and said, “Bye. Take care. Have a good time,” in a cold tone. I brought up one last time how much it had hurt me, and he said, “I already said sorry a couple of times.”Then I told him, “I’m sorry you’re late.” He replied, “Sure. Of course.” I said, “Bye,” and then he cut the call. I just feel so sad because of the tone and the kind of voice he used when he was talking to me. That really hurt me. The way he kept saying, “It’s just a damn joke. It’s just a damn joke,” and telling me that if I were mature enough, I would understand, and that I was overthinking,it all really hurt.I had told him that if something hurts me, I want him to gently reassure me, talk to me sweetly, and acknowledge that what I’m feeling is valid. But after today, I just feel scared to share with him when something hurts me.I know we have different dreams, but seeing him react this way really hurt something in me. He said, “What’s the point of respecting my dream if you’re not going to move to India?” That really stayed with me.When I called him back the second time, he kept saying, “Sorry. I’m really sorry for everything. Okay? But it just felt like he was apologizing for the sake of saying sorry. I didn’t even want him to apologize. I just wanted to feel comforted and understood in that moment.He also said that he can’t marry someone if he has to be in a long-distance relationship with them, and that the breakup “joke” wasn’t a joke anymore. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to think anymore.

He kept blaming me for how I was feeling, and that made me feel even more hurt. Now I’m starting to wonder if this is really the kind of person I want to be with. Is this someone I would have to be scared of telling how I feel?

I’ve noticed that whenever I tell him about something that has hurt me, he gets defensive and upset. I just don’t know how to feel anymore.At the same time, I can’t imagine not talking to him or not being with him because I do love him. We’ve been talking to each other for six months.To be honest, before him, I used to talk to another guy. We stopped talking after about five or six months because we slowly drifted apart. He stopped talking to me as often, and eventually I started looking for other people to talk to on ***. I still talked to that other guy every day for a while, but then the person I’m talking to now messaged me, and we’ve now been talking for six months.It just feels like I’ve started relying on him emotionally, and I love him. That’s why all of this hurts so much.We are in a long distance relationship and we haven’t even met.. Idk I’m scared to have a conversation about our future I wanna first tell him how he hurt me I’m scared he’ll get defensive about that then I’m scared to talk about our future deep down inside I know we both have different goals and we might not work out but the thought of not talking to him losing him kills me.I wouldn’t want to break up over our distance.If he really loves me I’d expect him to say I’ll try my best I’ll give it my all,him saying he can’t fight that long makes me feel so doubtful. So basically, I sent him the message saying, you know what, hurt me. And then I called him a few times, he didn't pick up, and he even declined one of my calls. And then I told him, please answer, I don't feel okay right now. Then he says this, he says, I'm sorry, but I think I need some time to process a few things before I speak to you. Then I say, I understand, you can take your time, but I wish you told me that you needed space. I feel ignored, I don't feel okay. Then he said, I'm sorry, I was deciding what I needed, and it's been a busy day for me too. And I said, it's fine, it just really hurts that you ignored me, and I have told you it hurts me when you do that. Even a short message saying you need space and that you're going to be busy would have meant a lot to me. I really don't feel alright. So, then he did not check up on me today at all. I wished him good morning, I was asked him, like, how is he feeling? Then I sent that long message saying how I feel. He did not reply to any of that. He ignored me the whole day, the whole day. he ignores me. I have told him before to not ignore me..and he did just that and I also told him if something hurt me I want him to validate my pain and treat me gently instead he treated me so coldly.I feel so overwhelmed..I have been crying every night and haven’t been able to sleep much I told him I have been having breakdowns and if we could please talk and he just ignored me…he posted stories on *** of him with his friends..and sent me snaps..but he never once replied to me…I feel so hurt..I just don’t get how he can ignore me when I really need him and I told him I’m having breakdowns..