Feeling truly lost

I don’t really know where to start. 5 months ago i decided to very cautiously give a dating app a try just to see what’s out there. i thought i might have a few conversations, make a couple friends maybe. i ended up meeting my current partner after around a week of chatting. the first couple of times we hung out were good, nothing spectacular but i had fun regardless and really liked this person i didn’t expect to meet. now (4 and a half months in) it feels like things have lost their luster for only me. my partner is great; intelligent, caring, funny, we have a few interests in common, and they adore me to no end. i feel like i should have no reason to feel, for a lack of a better word, apathy toward our relationship but i do. i almost dread weekends because that means i’ll be staying at their place waiting to go home. sometimes i put off answering their messages to avoid them potentially asking to call because i hate phone calls and especially sitting on one in silence for an hour. a week or two ago i hit a huge pothole in my mental health which drove me further into isolation, while they did care and were concerned, i could tell they were frustrated with me and i can’t blame them. we had a deep conversation on how i was feeling and how the relationship was exactly helping my state because i don’t think we click perfectly in a romantic sense and they said a couple things that didn’t sit right with me because it felt like they were trying to convince me the relationship is fine because they didn’t feel like there was anything off and i’m overthinking things. it’s really hard to talk to them about how i feel because they act like a kicked puppy anytime i say i’m not doing well even if it’s completely unrelated to them, they assume it’s somehow their fault. i don’t know if my expectations or standards going into this were too high but i definitely let things progress faster than i could process. i don’t want to stay but i don’t want to go either, it gets to a point where all my thoughts and feelings become muddy and i can’t make sense of any of it so i might do something.

thanks for taking the time to read this