Feels like I’m going to break
So I’ve done this in the past but never had luck with these things. I know this isn’t like other forums or help sites I’ve been on and I hope to find help with my issues. Though to some they may seems silly or stupid and others might see it from where I stand. Here goes……
To start this off right, I met my “wife” in 2009 and have been together since and 4 kids later we are still together. We aren’t actually married but been together long enough to feel that way. From before my oldest was born in 2010, I have held full time employment even while I went back to school in 2011-2012. At first I had no issues to my wife staying home with the kids while I went to work but the last 5-6 years have been even harder on me with employment. At most in the last 5-6 years I was unemployed for 1 month. I work from home full time and still deals with the kids while supposed to be working.
my biggest issue is that my wife refuses to get a job and expects everything to be paid for by me even her credit in her name. She keeps asking me when we will get married but is it wrong of me to hold off on marriage because I would like a partner to help support the family instead of me supporting everyone by myself? We live from pay check to pay check and even struggle between checks more lately.
when I try to talk to her about her getting a job I get a fight starting. Heck she even is saying that she’s on vacation when the kids are out of school and sleeps in everyday. At what point does the man who works everyday to support everyone actually gets a break.
@Tiredfatherof4 hello there! it sounds like your partner is putting a lot of responsibility on your hands and isn't trying to take some parts off your plate and contribute to supporting the family. i definitely understand why you'd think of holding off the marriage, and i believe that in a relationship, even more in a family, both parties should put in the effort to support the family and maintain balance within the relationship, as well.
what do you think is the best thing to do as of now? what do you think would be most helpful to you and your mental health?
i have no idea what the best thing to do is. I have taken up woodworking to help with mental health as it was recommended to me by a close friend. I grew up with an old saying from my mom, she said when you don’t know what to do just stand still for a moment and it will come to you. It doesn’t work for something like this.