Female friends/ex

Hello, I’m currently bawling my eyes out with no idea who to talk to but needing to get this off my shoulders. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year even more, we’ve had our ups and downs but we try to talk it out. The only problem is that we both suffer from many things like in his case he’s bipolar and has anger issues. So, when we fight about something he has tendencies of being very rude and saying whatever. We still manage to talk through our issues usually but that isn’t my problem. The problem is the fact that my boyfriend has had this ex that he stayed friends with. They’re very close due to the fact that they’ve known each other for a while and I feel like I shouldn’t be mad because they dated a while ago and my boyfriend says he has no feelings towards her. I am very insecure and still am experiencing a lot of issues from a past relationship that I had been in with a lot of cheating and lies which is why this is affecting me more than other people. I also don’t really like the fact that my boyfriend wants to have girl friends. Now, I don’t find this quite unusual since me and my boyfriend both are jealous people so him too, has told me that he doesn’t feel comfortable with me having guy friends which I’m totally okay with. When I expressed how I felt about his ex and his girl girlfriends, he always gets very mad, very defensive very upset. It happens every time and it happened right now. I ask him to show me if he still talks to his ex since we agreed that he would ghost her for my sake and the sake of our relationship but he told me that it was annoying and became too much since he did want to have girl friends and be friends with his ex. He does this quite often, changing his mind and going from being okay with not having any female friends and not talking to his ex to wanting. It makes me overthink a lot and I know that if he did have female friends I wouldn’t be happy but I wouldn’t be happy throwing away our relationship either. I just can’t do it though. It’s something I know I can’t do. I love him a lot but I hate his ex due to her very “***” ish attitude (which I’m not exaggerating) she changes boyfriends each week and seems like she’s flirting with my boyfriend, sending him pictures of his breasts almost out and her thong peaking out. It’s all too much for me.