Finding your person late in life

I’m 32 and I have been single my whole life. I’ve never been on a date or had a relationship, but while I have felt defeated, sometimes I still hold out hope.

Last night I met someone on an app and we talked on the phone for over 4 hours. I’ve never felt the way that this interaction made me feel before. I’ve always been the friend providing support for the guys I’ve been attracted to. This was different. I felt like we were having a conversation and that he genuinely wanted to get to know me, and I him. The conversation abruptly ended after he asked about what I want family-wise for the future. I told him I wasn’t 100 percent sure, but I am pretty sure I do not want to have children. His silence was noticeable, and he then told me how disappointed he was because we connected so well. He is interested in having children.

Before this topic, he told me how great he thinks I am and had listed the qualities he liked prior to this reaction, and he told me how he chooses to communicate in relationships and it seemed so perfect. After this conversation, the communication totally switched. I can totally understand and relate to that disappointment that we have different wants, but it scares me for the future.

I don’t open up easily, and I was more vulnerable than I’d ever been talking to him. I don’t know how to do that with someone else. I fear that the qualities that stood out to me may not be present in someone who doesn’t want children, and that it will be difficult to find a man that wants lifelong commitment but no children.

My concern is how I approach dating and seeking out a potential partner.