From breakup to friends
I’m not really sure where to start because this is kind of long, but I need to get it out.
When I was 13, I met a guy. We were friends at first, and over time I started to like him. We were in a relationship for 8 months, and I really liked him a lot. I decided to break up with him because I felt like he wasn’t treating me the way I deserved. The problem was that we were in the same friend group, so I kept seeing him, which made it really hard to move on. We tried to go back to being friends.
A few months later, he told me that he had actually planned things so that I would be the one to break up with him. That hurt a lot because it made me question whether his feelings had ever been real.
We didn’t talk for almost a year and were basically on bad terms, and honestly, it helped. I wasn’t thinking about him anymore. But then we ran into each other at a birthday party, made peace, and the feelings came back.
Last year, we ended up getting involved again and saw each other for two months, but it was a secret. I had a really hard time because I didn’t know if I wanted to get back together after everything that had happened. We tried to talk about it a few times, but we couldn’t. We’re not very good at talking about feelings — at least I’m not — and we never had a serious conversation about what we actually wanted or felt. In the end, I told him I couldn’t keep doing that, and exactly a year ago we stopped seeing each other. Now we just see each other from time to time because we end up in the same places.
He still likes my stories for ***, and I can’t help but wonder why. I wonder if he thinks about me the way I think about him, if it hurts him the way it hurts me. The truth is, I don’t even know what he wants, because we’ve never really talked about it seriously.
I’m 20 now and I feel really lost. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is love or just attachment. I also don’t want anything with anyone right now — I’ve tried, and I just can’t.
If you’ve taken the time to read all of this, thank you. 🤍
@natalia1034
I think it's a mixture of first livery, attachment and being able to be yourself around him 🩷
If other people don't feel right for you now.
Why not, focus on you for now and what makes you happy and give yourself time to heal before meeting someone else 🩷
@Amanda84
That's what I do, I try to focus on myself, but it's hard not to think about it.
@natalia1034
I completely understand how hard it is, be gentle with yourself 🩷
@natalia1034 I think the first experience is precious and an almost lifelong memory, so why not focus on remembering the positive aspects only and let go of uncertainty and any potential future hopes? I think it can help in focusing on the present and being gentle with yourself. Or having a weekly record of self-love practices can also be a way to start after this. I really appreciate you for being so strong all the time ✨