How?

For all I have done, the few things I actually sacrificed. The help that I gave, the love that I showed, the compassion I had; the tears for being there during the cancer, the support I’ve showed, the ALL I gave…how? The demons I had sat down and conquered in silence while still lifting you up; the experiences we had, the things we shared with one another and together; the peace we had, the dreams we dreamed; the warmth, the touch, the smiles…..how? The mistakes you made, the things I’ve heard from different angles, I sat that all down and looked beyond. But my mistakes, you wanted to toss me to the side, my loyalty burned at the stake, my love so quickly trashed…how? How could you so easily just act like I don’t exist? How can you so easily hate me? How can you so easily use callousness to kick me to the curb, literally and figuratively? How can you just throw me like dust into the breeze, act like I never did anything? How can you, in the same breath, say I showed you what a good man can be and looks like but yet sink my ship faster than the Titanic? Just how?…..How can I feel so defeated, such a failure, lured by evil thoughts about myself by someone I cherished, and held close to my heart? To see you almost die and pull through, to watch the growth in your children and then the growth in all our well being…but how could you so easily just….just act like I never existed in love? Please, I need answers, but yet you won’t even talk to me; won’t spare me from the cold of the weather or your heart? I admitted my failed situations….you’re in a place for forgiveness and redemption but yet you cast me to the wastelands….how? Please tell me how?

Thank you for anyone who took the moment to read this. 😢😢😢😣😞😔😒