How to get over someone ?
I and my bf have been dating for 10 months now , we were best friends for about 3 years and starting a relationship was a mutual decision. At that time he was so in to me and was very considerate about me. He was with me all the time back then.
He didn’t have much friends back then but now he has. Now he does everything with them.
He doesn’t make time for me and when i ask about that he always says that I’m starting a fight and he doesn’t even want to hear my side of the story.
When we fight he can go for days without talking to me and in that time he hang out with his friends without even thinking about me.
I love him more than anything and I can’t lose him because I can’t see my self without him. All the time i even change my plans in order to be with him but he doesn’t do such thing. His number 1 priority is hanging out with his friends.
Even though we are a couple he doesn’t like others finding it out and we don’t act like one when others are around. Only his friends know we are a couple but that’s it.
I don’t have friends because he didn’t like the friends i had so i had to ditch them in a way to make him happy. Now i feel so lonely.
What should I do?
@braveCircle6098.
Sorry to hear this. I can understand. I think, You should directly discuss with him that his actions are bothering you. If he cares about you he will understand. I don't understand if you both are couples why can't you be like this in front of everyone? I mean why are you guys pretending?
If we love someone we really like to talk about that person with our friends. It's very hurtful if he is hanging out with his friends and avoiding you but you should tell him that you are not okay with such things and trust me you won't be able to tolerate such things for long period of time so it's better to talk to him clearly. Maybe he is not aware of it that he is hurting you.
I did talk about it with him. But that’s when he lash out saying im not understanding. But i always try to understand him. We were in a long distance for about 2 months and at that time when i said that he doesn’t care about me what he said was “ i stayed with you for almost 6 months, do i have to stay these 2 months with you as well “ that really broke my heart. I’m not asking to be with me 24/7 . Why can’t he understand that ? He can hang out with his friends anytime he wants but why not with me? When i love him to an extent that i never thought I could love
I asked him do you want to break up with me , his answer was do what you want.
what should i do , I can’t think of anything else other than him
@braveCircle6098 if you cannot think of anyone else but him as you so assertively claim, why don't you ask him for marriage? Why this frivolous relationship? Ask him no. Your desperation should be translated into actions.
@sanvee11 we both are not ready for marriage yet
@braveCircle6098 how is it possible? When you love him this much, why are you shying away from marriage? I don't understand. Isn't marriage the ultimate expression of love?
@sanvee11 yes i agree with you but for that there should be a lot to consider. Financial stability and one should be independent in order to lead a married life because it’s just not one person anymore
@Sanvee11 How can she ask for marriage when they cant even meet halfway? If they’re not ready emotionally and financially, why get married right?
@braveCircle6098 maybe give it some time see how it works out. Don't be sad ok 😊💜
@braveCircle6098 Friendship that moved to next level is another adjustment for both of you. Now that theres label as friends in Love, its either can make Or break. Theres no question about your feelings and How you care for him, Communication is important, if he has different interest Or take about your relationship, perhaps you should both talk about it. You were friends so theres part that you both could agreed Upon. Give yourself Time for yourself too.
@AnnaBanana06 when i try to bring up the topic he says that i’’m always complaining and arguing. He doesn’t even text me back for many hours when i text him, when i ask him why are you not replying me back he says he’s busy but at the very beginning it was not like that. He would worry about me when i get sick or when I’m having a rough time. But now he doesn’t even care. I don’t know what to do. 😞😞😞😞😞😞
@braveCircle6098 You tried your best to make things work out and you dont know why his acting like this right now, surprisingly you see a different side of him and the way he treat you and your relationship. If he doesnt acknowledge your effort perhaps you two really need to sit down and talk about it. But if he doesnt want to, its not your fault, maybe he’s going through ito something about himself right now.
@AnnaBanana06 we live in same dorm. But he doesn’t even make time to see me. I did talk with him about this but he doesn’t want to discuss it, either he skips it or change the topic.
@braveCircle6098 It’s like a one way Street relationship. I’m sorry you’re going through this and feel hurt and neglected, not heard and valued. Its easier said than done, to tell you to give him Time and yourself time without him. But its kid of hard especially you’re seeing him everyday and he’s dismissive towards the issue. Always remember youve done your very best, doing your part as a friend and gf in this relationship. You are enough...
@AnnaBanana06 i feel so alone with having no one to talk about this. I don’t know what will happen but thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me. 🥺
Hi
Before you agreed to be in a romantic relationship why do you think he didn’t have friends? Did you spend the time together that you now expect from him? Was there a clear expectation set for your desire for public displays of intimacy?
Because at that time for 3 years he only spent time with me. It was just the two of us at everything. He doesn’t want us to be publicly acknowledged as a couple.
