I Messed Up

Hi, my name is sexytaurus, so i like to call myself. Yesterday my girlfriend ended things…and its all my fault…i didnt do anything like cheating or whatever…but i disrespected her and her trust many a time…this particular time takes the cake, especially because it was in the same week we were having some issues…in our relationship we had decided that we were not going to communicate out problems to others that we shall talk about them amongst each other…it was something that was her idea, so you can understand why my violation of that code hurt her extremely…not only that, the things i let my friend say about her… the things i said about her… *** i called her “‘manipulative” i think i called her “difficult”… i made the love of my life cry… i made the girl i swore for the rest of my life to keep happy… cry… it was a horriffic sight to say the least, i could see the sorrow in her eyes… i could hear it in her voice… she didnt look at me… she didnt let me touch her..i *** up big time for real this time.. i knew her forgiving nature wasnt going to let this one go… needless to say despite all the begging and pleading:. Three days later its over…. The love of my life leaves me… i keep thinking why the *** i said any of it… why the *** do i keep doing things to make my life worse?… is that what i want?… a bad life…I miss her so much, its only been a day but Jesus Christ I am in pain. The moment i am not occupied in anyway i burst into tears…. I scream and i wail for her. MY LOVE… My HABITI…she knew me… she saw me… and that wasnt enough for me… even if thats all i have been wanting…ill wait and wait… ill be better for my sweet girl… shell be the only one for me… ill never let her or us go… it will be till death do us part.