I cheated on my bf

Soooo I cheated on my bf. I just wanna pov from yall bc I feel like he tripping about everything

So almost a year ago he literally cheated on me in my house while I was on vacation (I went back to a friend w benefits after two days later but never told him until now )

I’ve tried to get over it but it’s hard he’s had a couple of mistakes over these past few months and then recently he made a work friend I didn’t like how we never told me about her upfront and hid it and had to force him basically to tell me the truth of everything. Come to find out he told her he was single but not looking to talk to anyone from work but when he told her that she asked if he was trying to change that (which just *** me off more) it’s been more arguments I feel like he doesn’t respect my boundaries nor listen to me so I cheated on him the other day and he found out  now he’s upset. Watching him be upset doesn’t really affect me. Like I care for him but I’ve been crying for a while and asking and I guess being at this point to understand what I’m expressing to him or to respect me. I didn’t feel the worse but cheating isn’t a good feeling. I just wanted him to feel what I’ve been feeling but I dummy think he still does so now I’m ready to break up with him really. he’s been loving with me for a a year and *** a girl in my bed in the beginning and he always just pushed it like we just need time to build trust but I hate hearing that ***. I want him worried as much as i am.