I couldn't forgive my parents
They constantly cursed, beaten and disrespected me..and wanted me to act normal after years of these treatments..my mother always throws tantrums and my father don't care. Always listening to her side and ignoring me. She always plays the victim cards showing herself helpless and my father comforts her.
She tried fake sucide attempts to scare me and my sister when were in kids..My father never asked anything to use and we got scared that if we complaint they she will beat us again.
Now when I try to speak about this to my father.. that mother's way are not good only to find out that he is completely brainwashed by here. He never believe what I say.. only thing he like is to be constantly praised. I don't think he purely tried to understand what's going on
My relationship with my parents is beyond repair..but I am still a student..stay with them feeling ashamed of myself and angry..
I don't want to say with them but I can't leave them..i crazy both I still love them
I'm sorry that you've been through so much at such a tender age. Relationships with family are a lot to take.
I'm glad you were able to share some of it. I had/have a lot of inner conflict as well. Don't pressure yourself to rationalise your feelings.
It's perfectly okay, to feel everything, even if it's confusing.
We are taught to love and respect family but they don't always deserve it with the way, we are treated by them.
I guess I try to think of anything positive they might have said or done so that my caring feelings for them were justified.
The outward perception of how I grew up was "normal" but when I matured. I saw it for what is was....
Eventually when the time is right, you will move out and start to heal from it. For now, try to focus on your needs and what you want from life and any interests too :)