I feel like I’m a burden
When I speak to my partner, he acts like I’m bothering him. He gets upset easily even if things are so little he counts down three years we been together and all my mess ups.
I asked if we can talk and he said about what I said you go without talking to me for weeks and he shrugs his shoulders. I said I feel like you resent me. Complete silence. I feel lonely in this relationship. I feel the same as I felt for years growing up shouldn’t that feeling have changed?
@lovelydesteny1 It is so unsettling to think someone could be resenting you, but refusing to talk about it. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely in the relationship, and it's frustrating he would hold small things over your head from years ago. Sometimes, things that are familiar are easier to find and comfortable, but not necessarily what we want or what we need to take care of ourselves. I don't know your whole situation or relationship, but if it is bringing up negative feelings from your childhood, thinking and talking about it is a good step to take, which you are doing right now.
@lovelydesteny1 I have been in a similar situation with my ex partner. He had a very avoidant attachment style and would not communicate openly. As a result, I was often the one putting in the emotional effort to have conversations, to resolve issues, and to talk about the future. This is very draining work. In my experience, my ex never changed.
I don't know how helpful it is because it doesn't really lead to the goal you might want, but it could help you take some emotional distance for yourself if you realize that he is choosing not to communicate with you. That is his choice. We don't really have control over what others do. Trust me, I spent 4.5 years trying to change my ex so he would become a more open person and a better communicator. That never worked; because he didn't want it. He didn't want do to the hard work to get through whatever was holding him back.
Don't honor someone's bad behavior by continuing to put emotional effort in. That man needs to take responsibility for his own emotions. If he has an issue, it should be on him to approach you with it in a mature way.
Weeks, you should move on. No partner goes weeks. I learned for my self. Sending healing energy to you! It gets hard before it gets easy.
@lovelydesteny1 in my personal opinion, you should never ever be a burden to your partner. Your partner should be your rock, messages are always open if you need a friend 😊
