I just want my family back
My fiancé of 8 and a half years left me on Tuesday. I am absolutely heartbroken. She is blameless. I have been selfish and neglecting throughout our relationship. I improved massively maybe about 2/3 weeks before we split up but only after a conversation about her not being happy in our relationship. This only annoyed her more because I wasn’t thoughtful or considerate enough to do this before it got to this point.
We have a 4 year old daughter together and I wasn’t the most supportive when she gave birth. I was scared to tell you the truth, i was ashamed to admit this at the time and I only told her this for the first time a few nights ago. Granted that was well overdue and she would’ve had a lot more respect for me had I just opened up back then. Despite being an advocate for men’s mental health, I have always been fairly reserved regarding my own to the point where she would ask me what is wrong and I said I didn’t know. I brushed her off. She truly adored me, I know exactly what I did wrong and I know how I could fix it if given the chance. I’m just scared I won’t get that chance.
I am absolutely heartbroken.. Similar has happened before but this feels different. She is the love of my life and my daughter the apple of my eye. I just want my family back, I’m committed to being a better person. I love them both so much and this is killing me.
Any advice is appreciated
@agreeableWater5658,
I don't think she was annoyed when you two talked recently. I think she rather felt sad, like "why didn't you open up more to me then maybe......".
Sometimes we know we have to change. And sometimes we admit and start working on ourselves. But that might simply be too late to salvage a relationship. To restore a trust that is severely damaged.
I've been there. I would get angry and I had good reasons for it. I would just throw it all out, while I knew that that damaged two people. I finally found a way to stop my anger in time. My ex wife always said she knew I'd concur my anger bouts, she even saw me change, felt more safe and comfortable with me but the damage done, she couldn't get over that.
Keep on working on you. Give yourself space. Be there for your child. Be kind and gentle. Don't chase her, just let her know you're there when need be. Time will tell.
