I love her so much

Me and my girlfriend of 1 and a half year just broke up. Currently its been 1 month since the breakup. I know, its still raw. But i need help because i wanna get her back and i dont think im the bad guy here. I really love her, i was numb and all from my past trauma. I had 3 ex before her. But she made me feel something, something i begged for even after we brokeup. I feel loved and i learn that i could love someone on a deep level.

Into the story.

So the last 3 months of our relationship was really hard, because i was having my own problem and i didnt talk about it with here. I was trying to not make her feel unsafe with me ( and i guess this is where i went wrong ).

My dad was never in my life, he is obsessed on me and my mother since their divorce. He sent people just to threathen me and my mom, and goes as far as using knife just to make us scared. I didnt tell her for safety reason, but that just made her feel lonely and feel like i dont love her. Which is not true, i missed her everyday on those 3 months but i just cant say the reason why i was not making enough time for her. Its not that we didnt really spend time but in her eyes i was not prioritizing her anymore and choose to do something else over her. In reality i was being stalked and i didnt want them to know where my gf live. Then she brokeup with me, she asked for no contact. I agreed and i try to do no contact. First week was okay, i got sick and she visited me. Second week was the same she went out with me and my family. We even had intimacy. On third week im starting to feel like she is starting to change, i was so anxious i couldnt breathe well and i was spamming her with texts. She told me not to push her but my emotion got the best out of me and i was begging and begging. She told me it was uncomfortable for me doing that ( and looking back i know why ). Then she told me that she is numb, she dont know what to feel towards me and she cant describe her feeling. Couple of days later i was coming by to her house to drop some gifts, i was only trying to do some small talks. But yeah, i melted and i cried ugly infront of her. I begged her to stay and she actually cares about me. She handled me like a kid which is how she usually handled me when i got upset. She told the same thing, then i caved in and i told everything about my dad and how hard was it for me to go throught it alone. I even attempted to overdose myself. She told me i should've told her earlier and she was willing to work things out. She told me now she is actually uncomfortable with me around her, because it made her feel unsafe. She is also scared of the bad memories. But that day ended pretty civil. Until i go came by again to her house and did the same cycle ( im so dumb ). This time she looked tired and scared, she didnt cry or handled me like usual. She just stared and dropped the bomb. She told me she is not coming back to me. I was a mess after that, but i accept it. We end things with a hug, now. She didnt cry once when i was begging her to stay she didnt even care. But when we hugged she cried. Now im concern if she said things like that just in the heat of the moment or basicaly straight up from her consciousness.

Help me i need advice.

I love her so much.

I know i should have stayed no contact but i guess its too late.

How do i fix things?