Indian dad found out I'm not a virgin anymore
So my dad is a traditional Indian dad and he found a condom in my car. I told him it was with my long term boyfriend for 8 years. He was so mad and upset. Now he won't look at me or talk to me. And we always had a close and happy relationship. I dont know what to do or how to approach him and make things better. I'm so scared to approach him and am very embarrassed. I feel so upset I hurt him. I dont know what to do...
@City431 by the he did not know about the boyfriend either
@City431,
you didn't hurt him, he hurt himself.
You're grown up and entitled to live your life your way. And he should understand that. Maybe he'll try. Just let it be for now.
@City431
it depends on which approach you take and how long ago this this happened. you can choose to make him understand that he should understand you using emotional blackmail and it wont affect his respect in any way or you can choose to try to convert this in a made up story , like reffering a youtube video where a children see reaction of parents based on different activities and time taken by children to make their parents understand them. and you are telling them about this because you have tried to dissolve the prank but it has crossed the line so you are telling the parent. something like that, i hope you get it.
@Skansly I'm not sure i understand. But i cant play it off as a prank, he wont believe it. Plus I told him bits of information about my boyfriend. And I hope to marry him in the future. Plus its my fault this happened so i should take responsibility. But at the same time I'm not able to approach him its way to hard for me everything's super awkward and i feel very embarrassed. And this just happened yesterday. I do hope he forgives me eventually :( Thanks for replying though. If you have any other advice I would appreciate it.
Hi City, I'm an Indian as well
And the situation that you are going through is extremely difficult
I would suggest you to give him sometime to accept this fact
Give him a little space, and after a few days just give him a hug and apologize to him if he feels like you hurt him.
He's your dad, he will understand you
@Gracious3333 Thank you for your response and i truly hope it works out like that. But I'm super awkward around him now and i dont know how long it will take for him to accept it. I don't even know how to approach him if and when he does cool down. I'm in no position to even talk it out with him. I just feel awful. I'm basically defeated. I dont know what the right thing to do is. All I can do now is just wait and listen to him. If you have any other advice please let me know I appreciate all forms of guidance.
Hey City,
I would feel the same if I was in your situation. I would drown in guilt even though somewhere I know I didn't make any mistake.
Their generation and their thinking will be totally different than ours and unfortunately no matter how hard we try sometimes they won't understand.
But what I wanna say is, like I said before give him sometime.
Maybe few days, then just apologize (even though it's not a mistake) for his sake do it, tell him you don't want to hide anything from him and that's why you told him the truth.
Convince him to trust you, communicate with him.
Tell him you will never do anything wrong to harm him in any way.
At the end of the day, he's your dad, he loves you, he will accept this and forgive you.
Along with this, take care of your mental health as well.
Trust me, in a few years this won't matter as much as it's bothering you now.
Give it time, for yourself and him as well.
Don't worry 🤍
